Descriptive writing
Dahlia Bartley, Contributor

To begin this week's lesson, I shall check the answers to last week's exercise:

1. Euphemism 2. Simile 3. Alliteration 4. Personification 5. Onomatopoeia 6. Metaphor

Now, let us do a quick revision of descriptive writing. This type of writing may describe a person, place, event or thing in such vivid detail, that one can easily visualise that which is being written.

The author may accomplish this by using figurative language, interesting comparisons and images that appeal to the senses. In other words, to be successful at writing descriptions, you need to be alert and aware of people and things around you. You also need to have a working knowledge of figurative devices and their effect.

If you are familiar with the CSEC syllabus, you will realise that since 2006, the descriptive essay is an option in section three of the examination paper. In other words, you may choose to write EITHER a story OR a description. I must hasten to remind you that you may include description in your stories, but please bear in mind that if you opt to do the description, it must not seem as if you are writing a story. The description must be clearly constructed and developed. The information you give must be valid, and well sequenced.

Making a piece interesting

A descriptive piece must not be drab. Thus, to make a piece interesting, you must pay special attention to details as these, when carefully selected, will bring life to a description.

You must make use of sensory details. Some students write rather dull pieces because they rely on only two of the five senses. Readers of a piece of descriptive writing must be able to see/picture clearly what is being described. The reader must actually see, touch, taste, hear and smell. Use all senses if it becomes necessary. It means, therefore, that the writer has to use words to paint a picture. Then there must be some order as to how the description is presented.

If you were to describe a female, do not talk about her hair and then move directly to talk about the bright colour of the nail polish on her toenails. A better approach would be to start, yes, at the head and move systematically to the feet - head, shoulders, chest, stomach, waist, hips, thighs, legs and, finally, the feet.

The physical is only one aspect of the human being, so to enrich your description, you should include a details of the person's actions and thoughts.

Words which are used to describe the different features of the body may be termed 'loaded' words. These are words that can be used to create attitudes and biases, for by using them, you are getting your readers to think positively, or negatively, about the individual you are describing.

Let us look at possible ways to describe different parts of the body.

• Hair: curly, straight, matted, unkempt, shiny, soft, well-groomed, thick.
• Shape of face: oval, long, round.
• Eyes: beady, twinkling, furtive, short-sighted, large, bulging.
• Nose: straight, crooked, beak-like.
• Mouth: wide, smiling, lean, crooked
• Teeth: pearly white, uneven, yellow, gold-filled, gleaming, coffee-stained.
• Voice: booming, sonorous, musical, shrill, soft.
• Legs: bow-legged, straight, well-toned, long, shapely.

In your writing, words can be powerfully used. Let us look at verbs, as these can be effective. So many of our students are content with writing (or speaking) in this way - "Mary sang as she took her shower". But consider the effect of the following sentences:

"Mary crooned as she took her shower."

"Mary croaked as she took her shower."

"Mary chanted as she took her shower."

Through each verb, the idea of 'sang' is conveyed but, more important, each of these synonyms for 'sang' says how 'the singing' is done. Can you say how each verb varies in meaning? Now, see how many synonyms you can find for the following verbs - talk, walk, write.

Adjectives, too, lend colour to descriptions. Imagine someone who has not eaten for a day and a half. How could we describe him as he has his 'first meal' after the period? Such words as 'wolfed', 'gulped', 'tore into', 'gnawed fiercely' would enrich our description.

Equally important to vivid writing is the use of adverbs. Appropriate choice of words to create moods, tones, atmosphere and setting is absolutely essential.

Now that you have an idea about gathering information for a descriptive piece of writing, I will share with you guidelines to help you to present your written work:

• You must choose a topic with which you are knowledgeable.
• Work out a plan. Do not begin to write until you have done so. Stick to the demands of the question and DO NOT introduce irrelevant information.
• Selection of details is important. Proper organisation is crucial, so paragraphing is essential. You should only discuss a single idea in a paragraph.
• Choose appropriate language. Rely particularly on the use of figurative devices and sensory details. Remember, you are trying to create a vivid piece of writing.
• Vary your sentence patterns, for example, do not start every sentence with 'Then' or 'So'.
• Allow for time to read over your work. So many of you are guilty of not doing so and end up making so many basic grammatical errors. These do detract from your final efforts, my friends.

I am sure that you will be able to write interesting accounts now. You need to know that for the exam, the word limit is 400-450 at the general level and 300-350 words at the basic level. Practise becomes perfect, so I would like you to do even one of the following:

1. Write a description of your first flight in an aeroplane.

2. You are flying in a helicopter over your country just after it has been hit by a hurricane. Describe the scene you are viewing.

3. You have just done your final examinations at school. Describe your thoughts as you await the results.

Have a good week.

Visual arts student-teacher, Tamu Wright (right) helps artist, Jerome Robinson, with the sketch of a basket he is making during school activities at Cumberland High School on February 12. - Anthony Minott/Freelance Photographer

Dahlia Bartley teaches at Glenmuir High School.