'The New Bed'
Dahlia Bartley, Contributor

This week, I will share with you a story which was written in class by one of my fifth-formers. The title of her story is The New Bed.

As the soothing sound of Beres Hammond's voice "remember the days ... " floated in the room, I was suddenly reminded of the times when Mrs Joan Lucresha ran her delicate fingers over my circular physique. I remembered the first time I had felt love. It was the time that I was delivered to my newly wed owners. They were my only occupants and they were cautious in the way they treated me. They were truly a wonderful couple and I served them well.

As the years passed by, I grew more precious and felt more needed. Everything was perfect until that day. Excuse me, as I wipe some tears from my eyes. I ... I ... was ruined! That darn boy Peter. He didn't even belong; he just came and pranced, sprang, let and ... and ... it was terrible. I tried to make him fall, but I had a good heart. My owners were never around on those occasions. But one day, they returned home unexpectedly to find me being 'tortured' by Peter. While they cried and heaped threat after threat on him (it was as if they bore my pain), he had no remorse and merely giggled uncontrollably. This was what sent me into a fit. They sent him back to his country to be where he deserved to be - with the cows and pigs.

That evening, the room had grey lamps. Dark sheets were spread over my ruined body. Everywhere was damp and pale and faces were drawn as they passed my room. Days passed, but not the sad atmosphere. One day, however, a cruel thing happened. I no longer belonged, that was true. But what was done to me was not justified. It was not fair.

I was left to hoist other children and was watered nightly from their activity. No longer was I cared for; no longer was I loved. And that bed! Look, it was rectangular; it wasn't even unique. It was not special. It was normal and regular, absolutely no match for me! But it stole my love. God still loved me though, for only one of my sheets could fit that dark ash-grey monstrosity. It took MY space, but it could never take my job. I shuddered when I heard Joan hum tunes of love songs as she put on the covers.

The final act of cruelty was performed on November 2, 2001 - my fifth birthday. Oh, how I died. But one day, one day, his time will come. He will feel this way, too. I detest that new bed.

Good twist

Do I detect a smile as you read the last line? The writer certainly had me thinking all along that the 'circular' bed was 'the new bed'. She has certainly used the twist well. Please check back on earlier lessons to ensure that you know exactly what is being spoken of here.

What are other positive qualities of this piece? Well, for one, the writer has maintained our interest to the end. And she has done so with a simple plot! It is interesting to note that she has written her story from the perspective of the bed. Did you think of this? Consider, too, the use of humour, the choice of words, for example, 'watered nightly', 'dark ash-grey monstrosity', 'pranced', 'sprang', 'leapt'. The use of specific dates creates a feeling of reality. Notice, too, the layout, for example, 'I ... I ... was ruined!'. The writer's choice of colour is certainly important, as well. Donette's story was well within the limit, 400-450 words for the general proficiency.

I will close now by leaving with you questions on story writing. For practice, attempt even one. It would be good also if you thought of possible plots and beginnings for the others. Share the story you have written with your teacher and or your friends, and accept gracefully any criticism they might have.

• "I stared at the ceiling, white and remote, at the wooden floor cold and splintery under me - the window barred and unreachable - the last closed door." Write a story using the above as the central idea.
• Write a story in which you were deceived by the shadow cast on a tree on a moonlit night.
• Write a story on the theme 'a broken promise'.
• Write a story which ends with the following sentence: "And so I had the last laugh."

Students of Buff Bay High, in Portland, listen as Stanley Smellie, engineer, explains the advantages of using solar water heater, at the University of the West Indies' Research Day, activities on the Mona campus, recently. - Ricardo Makyn/Staff Photographer

Dahlia Bartley teaches at Glenmuir High School.