I am a 16-year-old female with some problems and I was wondering if you could help me out. My mother and I don't get along and this is bad because I live with her and my younger sister and you and I both know that a family should stick together. Nobody in this house wants to talk about anything with me. I can't express myself anywhere, and I don't carry my emotions with me, I leave them at home so I can get on with my school life. I don't even have friends because my parents want me to be antisocial. This is not right, everyone needs to socialise. With everything going on at home, deep inside my soul I feel down every day. Nobody understands me. I used to be that fun girl at school who's always smiling and helping people with their problems; funny thing is, I don't know how to deal with my own problems. I'm in the position where I'd like to live with my father, but she (my mother) won't even let me visit him. I have allergy problems too and no one even bothers to carry me to get a check-up. I mean, hello, I'm a human being and I would appreciate it if I were treated like one. There is nobody I can talk to, so this is really hard for me. Listen, I need some advice really fast, would you please help me!

Dear Friend:

There seems to be a lot happening in your life at this time, way too much for a 16-year-old to be handling alone. I would think you are still in high school, based on your age.

I know it is often times difficult for mothers to realise that their children are getting older. As such, they tend to deal with them as if they are still children and this often creates tension at home.

Likewise, some teens fail to understand the pressure parents are under to keep them safe, especially in Jamaica today. We hear so many horror stories that parents are terrified of what could happen to their child, especially if the teen is not being responsible.

I stated earlier that I suspect you are in high school. Let me suggest that it may be a great idea to have a talk with your school counsellor. He/she should be able to assist you in working through your challenges and, at the same time, help and support you in talking with your mom. I think this is the best place to start, so you will have an idea of what you should adjust, even before approaching your mother.

This is a difficult period in your life my friend and I am delighted that you reached out to me for help. Please, therefore, listen to my suggestion and speak with your counsellor as soon as possible.

Be strong and courageous and never give up.

- Counsellor

Write to Dear Counsellor Rev.Stephen-Claude Hyatt at Youth Link, The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston; Fax: 922-6223; e-mail lifestyle@gleanerjm or dearcounsellor@hotmail.com